Tidewater Blues

Self-Binding

Self-binding is a fascinating topic that I first read about in an online article (which I can no longer locate) more than two years ago.  

The philosophy of it is convoluted, but the core psychology behind self-binding is pretty simple, if a little farfetched for most people.  Simply put: we are not consistent beings.  Some of the things that I am thinking and feeling at this moment, including some of my beliefs and desires, are in direct conflict with what I may think and feel in another situation. 

Consider the difference between the “you” who wants more than anything to drop 15 pounds, and the “you” who wants nothing more than a good cheeseburger.  Same person right?  So how can that be, if we contradict ourselves?

One of the ways to reconcile this problem is to say that we each have something akin to multiple selves within us.  (Which is not the same as having Dissociative Identity Disorder, because we maintain a constant sense of ourself.)  Each of these selves is more-or-less consistent while active, but different selves can have very different attitudes.  In other words, in a certain sense the “you” who wants to shed 15 pounds is different than the “you” who wants to eat a cheeseburger.

Whether or not you buy into this theory of the self, as a model it still offers some useful insights into the art of motivation and self-control.  You can think of self-control, in these terms, as a struggle between different aspects of your personality for the right to direct over what you do in particular situations.  Weight-Loss-John may be the person in control at this moment, but there are no guarantees that this will be the case when said cheeseburger comes along.

Self-binding refers to steps that we all naturally take to deal with the reality of our conflicting desires.  Within our model you can understand self-binding as the aspect of your personality that wants to control a situation taking steps to either prevent a counter aspect from achieving its goal when active or even to prevent the aspect from event surfacing.  We call the former resisting temptation and the later avoiding temptation.

For example, if John does not want to be tempted into eating a cheeseburger, then maybe he won’t buy buns, or give his credit card to his daughter-in-law so that he needs to ask permission to spend money at a Burger King, or lock the beef patties up in the garage.  All of these are examples of self-binding—there are infinite ways to do it.  

The real trick is to figure out what type of self-binding will work for you.